annies POV :
clearing the mind.
my therapist told me the best way to clear the mind is to write it down.
it helps when you can’t talk to someone
any emotion or moment, I put it down in a small notebook.
it’s supposed to relieve how you feel.
but I didn’t have my notebook to go and write down how I felt.
so I sat on kenzies lawn, staring up at stars, relaxed, laid back.
I was too harsh on hayden, I shouldn’t have been.
he was only there to help, not to hurt me.
yet I didn’t turn around.
I didn’t walk back.
after I started to head off the front step, I realized that it wasn’t going to do me any good to run off.
it would be just like in maryland.
everything that was going on and I couldn’t take it.
it was my own fault. I couldn’t keep a single friend.
when my friends had questioned me so much about it, I snapped.
and then I caged myself inside my room.
I didn’t speak to anyone for weeks.
the accident hit me hard.
I was traumatized, I still am.
but I pushed everyone away from me.
so far, that eventually they forgot about me, and when I tried to come back to them, they told me they didn’t know who I was.
I deserved it, I really did.
I don’t want my friendship to be like that again.
I jump at the sound of the door creaking open.
I peek over, seeing hayden step out, heading towards me.
“ so you stayed. “ he said, relaxing back right next to me.
“ yeah..” my voice trailed off.
“ I’m sorry! “ I blurt after.
“ don’t apologize. whatever happened must have hurt you badly. “ he says, moving closer to me, his eyes glancing over to me.
“ I-, it-, well, I had this dream. it was more like a nightmare. it felt so alive, I panicked when I woke up. “ I softly said, still trembling a bit from it.
“ I know you don’t want to tell me, and I’m so sorry for bugging you, but when you’re ready, I’m here. “ he says as I felt his hand on top of mine.
“ can I ask you something? “
“ hmm? “ he looks back up at the stars
“ how come you’re so nice to me? “ I ask.
he bites his lip for a moment.
“ I can tell when someone’s genuine, you know? the friends I have right now, it took me so long to find the right ones. “ he said.